End WCS Persecution!

I noticed today that many modules in EVE Online have variants at the faction, deadspace and officer level, but some have been strangely neglected. For example, consider the sad case of warp core stabilizers (WCS), which only have Tech I, Tech II and Storyline versions.

Why are Warp Core Stabs being persecuted? Why don't they have fancy faction and officer-level variants, like so many other modules in EVE Online? Why all the hate, CCP Games?

The differences in WCS variants are slight, with minor fitting variations between them - and they all have a paltry -1 warp scramble strength improvement, so there is no functional advantage between any of the options.

This is a very sad state of affairs - one that should have come to the attention of the Council of Stellar Management (CSM) long before now. Why has there been no outrage on the part of the CSM about this obvious deficit? I think I smell a conspiracy.

To fix this glaring gap in capsuleer fitting options, I propose the following:

  • Introduce the Domination, Federation Navy, Republic Fleet and Shadow Serpentis (meta level 8) faction versions of the WCS, each with a -2 warp scramble strength, at slightly higher than Tech II fitting requirements
  • Introduce the Coreli and Gisti C-Type, B-Type and A-Type (meta levels 10-14) WCS versions, with warp scramble strengths of -3 and -4, with easier fitting requirements
  • Introduce the "Fawkes", "Ames", "Brutus", "Arnold", and "Judas" officer-level (meta levels 15-20) WCS variants, with warp scramble strengths of -5 and -6, with extraordinarily low fitting requirements
A recommended WCS fitting from the well-known lover of low-sec pilots and fluffy kittens, Rixx Javix.

A recommended WCS fitting from the well-known lover of low-sec pilots and fluffy kittens, Rixx Javix.

The Joys of Warp Stability

Imagine how much easier it will be to finish off those pesky novice faction warfare plexes, with a full rack of "Judas" officer WCS modules on your Incursus, giving you a nice, comfortable -24 warp scramble strength of protection. Sure, you'll be flying something worth billions, but you can do so with the reassuring feeling that you're completely immune to any pirate, unless they arrange to bring a gang of at least 13 friends. After all, the key to success in EVE is always to "bring more friends" - right?

All you'd have to do is watch Local in some low-traffic low-sec system, and all would be right in the world. Imagine what this could do for the EVE Online economy, with a reliable stream of LP coming to FW pilots with virtually no effort. All those high-performance faction modules flooding the market at low prices would be a boon to every pilot in New Eden.

And imagine how much better mining would be, too. I'd love to be able to be even more AFK than I am already, reading a book while my strip miners hum merrily along, glancing up at my screen only to casually warp off if a couple of gankers show up, with nary a care. EVE Online has always been overly stressful for miners, and these new variants of WCS modules would simply make this chronic problem go away forever. The mental health of long-persecuted miners demands some compassion - let's give it to them with these enhanced stabilizers.

The Vast WCS Conspiracy

I'm very surprised that the CSM hasn't latched on to this issue. I suspect that they are all secret members of the shadowy pirate cartel, which run everything in EVE Online from their dimly lit, cigar-smoke filled, back rooms - where policy is set for the unknowing masses, usually during clandestine meetings at Fanfest. It's long past time to expose these criminals, and restore justice to the hordes of common pilots in New Eden.

It's time to unleash the power of warp core stabs. Free the WCS, I say! Give us our long-overdue faction, deadspace and officer WCS modules, CCP Games - and give them to us NOW!

(.... and Rixx Javix's head explodes in 3... 2... 1.... Hee hee hee!)